Computer Shops

No excuses, I know I haven’t posted for a long long time. Busy life and something had to give!

Anyway, I wanted to mention a couple of experiences I have recently had with a major seller of computers. No names but they are a major world pc shop.

The first story involves my mum. She had decided that she should join the silver surfer set and arrived down from Shetland hoping to buy her first ever computer. I gladly said I would help in her quest cause that’s the easy bit, the hard bit would be left to my brother in Shetland – showing her how to work it!

We arrived at the said superstore, found the ideal laptop for mum, I told her to buy it while I bought my own replacement laptop. I bought mine, took no-nonsense about extended warranties which cost more than the thing itself and looked around for mum. She was being harassed, she was told she had to buy security software (even though it had all been arranged with her network provider) and she had to buy an extended warranty. I joined the conversation just in time as the salesman said it was very irregular and he would have to speak to the manager regarding mums refusal to take these extras! It seems that the older buyer of computers is a target for all sorts of extras that wasn’t forced on me, when I said no to extras, my salesman agreed with me. How many people new to computers have been hoodwinked?

My next encounter with the same store was when I took my computer (still under 1year guarantee!) into the store to be fixed, only to be told it had to be seen at home by an engineer. Luckily they do work Saturdays, so the first repair man came, said he usually fixed TV’s, fiddled with the computer, replaced bits then left. Once gone I realised he had actually replaced bits and downgraded the spec, so arranged another repair, another Saturday waiting all day and guess what, this repairman told me he couldn’t fix the computer and in the end I had to take it into the store anyway!!

Bad service all-round and time to find a new computer shop, though I shouldn’t need a new one for a long time!

Important Things I’ve Learned Today

No matter how much you really want to; never, ever attend a Eucharist service straight from the dentist. Today I hopped out the dentist’s chair and shot up the road to attend the service. As I crept into church and took my place I suddenly realised my mouth wasn’t working properly as it was still very numb! As the service progressed I started to become a wee bit uncomfortable, sure that I would dribble wine down Kirsten’s nice clean vestment.

I approached the altar with dread  and of course took the bread, chewing a large piece of tongue at the same time. Next the chalice and I copped out, my lips touched the wine and I took enough to taste. Of course next time (if there is a next time) I should really just ‘dunk’ the bread into the wine!

‘Weight’ A Minute

On Monday I was asked to see a gentleman. On meeting him, he recognised me straight away as I had professional dealings with him 1-2years ago. ‘Good to see you again John’ he said. ‘I want to thank you for all the advice you gave me a couple of years ago, but my goodness you have piled on the pounds haven’t you?’ I thanked him for his er kind words! My colleague who was with me later re-assured me that I look exactly the same to her as I have done and that I didn’t look like some enormous beached whale, my other colleagues all agreed with her.

Yesterday I got in a lift, the door started to close then sprung open again. ‘This lift is overloaded’ it pronounced. Everyone else in the lift stared at me, I gave a nervous laugh, mumbled ‘suppose I better get out’, got out and off it went. I took the stairs. Maybe I need to take the stairs more often!

Home To Roost

One of the things about living so far away from your parents is that when you visit them you stay longer than a couple of hours or a weekend. In fact as it is so expensive to get back to Shetland, let alone how long it can take, I usually stay for a week at least. Although it’s good to go ‘home’ and see all the relatives it soon becomes clear that 40 year olds shouldn’t really be living in the same house as their parents for any length of time.

The reason for this is quite simple, you regress. I may well be 40 in physical terms but after a day with parents you feel that you are school-age again. Now I have never felt my age, I still feel ‘young’ and my wife says I am actually still a big bairn but walking through my mother’s door causes a severe reaction. Yes it is nice to be mothered but then you realise you have just asked permission to go out or to put on the television. Last Monday I nearly got up to go to school!

I love going back to Shetland, and I will continue to do so. I suppose it keeps me young!

Up Helly Aa

I’ve just returned from another fantastic Up Helly Aa. Now I’m not going to tell you what Up Helly Aa is, the best place for that is the official website:  www.uphellyaa.org or check it out on Wikipedia. I just want to say what it means to me, an expat Shetlander.

Every year once the festive period is over, a growing sense of excitement builds only let down by the occasional years when I just can’t make it back to Shetland. I thought for a while about why this was, what makes Up Helly Aa so special. Yes it’s an all day, all night festival and you can if you wish partake of alcoholic beverages during that time but alcohol is easily available and even people who don’t drink take part and enjoy the day as much as anyone else. So it must be the community aspect to the whole thing. If you can imagine that over 900 ‘guisers’ take part, hundreds of people attend each the 11 local halls that are open, not counting lorry/bus drivers, brass band, pipe band and the thousands that turn out to watch the spectacle then you realise just what a large percentage of the population of Shetland takes part. I remember as a ‘peerie’ boy the excitement as the Jarls squad visited the primary school and came along to the classes. Then moving onto High School and taking part in the Junior festival, it all grows from there.

So now I participate from afar, only travelling back at the last minute when our squad have perfected their idea for the year and I don’t have to make any decisions. Yes I miss the preparation but taking part in Europe’s largest and finest fire festival makes up for that!

Hello world!

So here I am, I thought this was a good idea as I had so much to say and hey I’ve forgotten it all. There was so much funny things I wanted to share, so much injustice I wanted to shout about, so much – look I’ve even forgotten what I wanted to write here. Never mind things will improve and in the meantime, go read a book!